That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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