I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
