Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it because I queefed?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
