That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
