she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
don't judge my taste in strippers
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
