Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
