I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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