Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
