i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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