As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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