Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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