Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
PANTIES FOUND
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