OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
