a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
