We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
