he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
