we're chasing vodka with high fives
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
