How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
