i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
