Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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