This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
