I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
