do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
