Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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