You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
