piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I smell stomach acid.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
