let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
