I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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