If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
