Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
