I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
