Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
