is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The struggles of a small town man whore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
