I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
