You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
