actually, I'm a sock model
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
