Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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