i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
