do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
