I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She said her name was "party"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
