Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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