can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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