All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
