Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
