I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm like, not good at living.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
