If that was your dad, he is hot
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
