he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Swine flu is the new snow day.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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