if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
