He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
