Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
