If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
